IF

If I had gone right instead of left.

If I had gone up instead of down.

If I had said 'yes' instead of 'no'.

If we could see into the future, would our choices be the same or different and would making different choices actually make a difference?

These questions and many more have been argued upon since the beginning of time.

In my life - would going to Lyon (France) to be an Au-pair at the age of 18 years have made my life anymore interesting or exciting. It certainly could have been more interesting, but the fact remains, we don’t know.

I met my husband, that was, at the age of 17, whilst still attending school. He wasn’t really my type of guy, being a little rough around the edges – we hit it off just the same.

We married two years later at the age of 19 (both of us) – people told us not to do it – I kind of wished I had listened - I made my decision and I stuck to it.

Two kids and 20 years later we divorced.

The constant drinking and romancing of anything in skirts finally drove me to decide enough was enough!

I still loved him though!!!

Three years later he died of a brain haemorrhage, caused by high-blood pressure and aggravated by his lifestyle. Keeping up with all the young ladies he seemed to attract, was what really took him in the end.

If I had gone to Lyon at 18 - would I have met him?

If I had not married him - would I now have two wonderful sons?

If I had not divorced him - would he still be alive now??

If I knew these answers before they happened, would I have changed anything?

Who knows – not I?

I am content with my life as it is now. I have my family and friends for company, when I need company.

I have two wonderful boys, who could possibly start their own lives apart from me and their own families at any time.

I have a home, where I am warm in the winter and cool in the summer and where I feel safe and happy - what more could I need?

If you concentrate on what you have and not what you have-not and forget all the 'ifs' perhaps it can make life easier to cope with.

After all what is life – but ‘le if’

Philosophy lecture over, normal service will be resumed at next posting.

Jo xx