WHEN LIFE KNOCKS YOU DOWN YOU JUST HAVE TO GET UP AGAIN

My Dad aged 3

Well here I am again - more than a year since my last post and what has spurred me to post is my brother LONDON CABBY who has written a moving tribute to our Dad, who passed away last Friday. I won't say much more on the subject, I think my brother said it all, but I will say that however long a person is ill for you are still never prepared for their actual passing - the utter sadness you feel at losing a parent at any age is devastating.

My Mum who is swinging from grief to relief and back again has always been a very forward thinking person and at the age of 75 is still open to new ideas and just wants everyone to live their lives. Mum has been looking after my Dad for the past eight or so years, since he was critically ill in Spain. She has fed him, washed him, driven him to appointments, dug vegetable patches in the garden for him, been woken up two or three times during the night when his dementia started taking him over and he didn’t know if it was day or night and has generally been a voluntary prisoner in the house just so that she could keep him company. Of course the rest of us her children have tried to help out, but Mum is quite proud and stubborn and insists on doing everything herself.

My youngest brother lives at home and has been there for my Mum and tried to help out with my Dad also. Waking up in the middle of the night and listening to Mum trying to reason with Dad, who at 3am was fully dressed with his jacket and tie and waiting to be driven somewhere, only he knew where. My baby brother has taken the death of my Dad really badly, but inspite of this has managed to sort out all the paperwork for my Mum including: Death certificates, household bills, banking, insurances and other sundry items – he has told her not to worry and that he will deal with all of this for her – Mum is so relieved and I am so grateful to him.

With love to all my brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, Uncle, cousins and of course Mum xx

IT'S ALIVE!!!

Hello, yes it's me again - more than a year and half. Older, heavier, wrinklier, wiser, menopausal but still enjoying the small pleasures in life.

I am still working in the school library - I am the manager, but it seems the latest headmaster is intent on micro-managing the whole school and won't let anyone make any decisions, regarding spending of budgets, layouts, displays even what colour to paint the walls! I am just not getting the same job satisfaction I used to get. I still enjoy working with the students, but that is not enough.

I find myself planning what I would spend a lottery win on - if I was lucky enough to win it! Since I don't buy tickets every week my odds of winning are considerably reduced.

I spent most of the morning catching up on housework, which I don't feel like doing during the week and have worked up quite a sweat. This is good news for me as I need to exercise more and have become decidedly lazy this past year. I need a good kick to get myself fit and lose some weight in time for my two week holiday in Mallorca, where i will be staying with my sister. I went last year and had a wonderful time, swimming, eating, sightseeing and generally relaxing - I am sooooo looking forward to it this year.

Well I am not going to write anymore right now - a little at a time - let's see if I can get back into the groove.

It shows how long since I used blogger - all the controls have changed - I hope this works.

Love and blessings to you all.

FULL OF LIFE AND LAUGHTER

Some days you wake up full of the joys of Spring, ready to meet the challenges the new day brings. Other days you drag yourself out of a lovely warm bed, grit your teeth, shuffle into the bathroom, struggle into your clothes. Every step is torn from you and you wonder what life is all about.

Yesterday began as a shitty day, it didn't get much better, rude staff, rude students. Feeling tired and lacking lustre after a spiritually demanding day I took myself home and decided that I was going to immerse myself in TV world. I wanted to watch something that was entertaining, perhaps frivolous but certainly something that would lift my drooping spirit. I found all these things in the following.

I began the evening with a film called 'Beauty Shop', which boasted many well known names, Queen Latifah, Alicia Silverstone, Andie MacDowell, Alfre Woodard, Mena Suvari, Della Reese, Djimon Hounsou and not forgetting Kevin Bacon as a very strange Austrian hairstylist. This film is hilarious, full of life and humour, full of larger than life character. Maybe it's a bit predictable, the baddies get their comeuppance and the downtrodden are raised up, but call me old fashioned, when you are feeling down this type of film is the best medicine.

The other priceless bit of TV history was 'Big Fat Gypsy Weddings', where a little girl wore a giant pink dress, which was double the size of the child and half her weight, it had been embroidered with real crystals!! This poor child thought she looked like a fairy princess, she couldn't walk properly and and had to kick her dress forward and wave her arms about like a demented Barbie blancmange. To add insult to injury her little friends all laughed hysterically as they watched her trying to get into the church - classic!! Link here I hope it works?!! While you are visiting the giant pink blancmange, please also take a look at Josie's wedding dress - apparently she chose it because it is "classy" - oh well each to his own.

I finished the evening feeling incredibly light headed from all the laughter and not at all guilty that I spent the evening watching trash.

Try it sometime you might like it. :)

G'night - I am just going to slip into my diamond encrusted pyjamas.

Jo xx

LIFE, VAGUENESS AND THE UNION REPRESENTATIVE

I think I have found my modern day hero or should I say heroine - let me explain.

Life at work is much the same, kids asking questions, teachers asking questions, good things and not so good things. One of the not so good things at the moment is impending support staff restructuring or harmonisation as they keep calling it. Harmony is the furthest thing this restructuring is creating - it has caused anxiety, suspicion and extremely low morale amongst us who are considered the lowest of the low in the education world.

Today I attended a 'consultation' meeting, the third one in a long line of talking about nothing - how can there be any consultation, when no details have been given of the changes mentioned in documents. Apart from the support staff, who will be affected by these changes, there were also the Head, representatives from Unison and GMB Unions and several other managers in attendance. The meeting began as usual with waffle - people talking, people listening and nothing much of any use being said. Suddenly a very smart around thirtyish woman(The GMB representative) began to speak and I was enraptured. She spoke with such eloquence, dignity and unshakeable confidence that she was a delight to hear. She dissected each part of the 'consultation' document pointing out deficiencies, stupidity and even a couple of items which could be deemed illegal. The mood of the meeting lifted and all of a sudden people who were too timid or afraid of losing their jobs began to ask the Head questions, which they really wanted to ask.

The Head began to squirm, he tried to keep his cool, he tried to backtrack and in the end he had to admit that perhaps the wording of the documents had been misleading and that he would make himself available to speak to anyone personally and specifically regarding any change to their contract of employment.

I love this woman - not in any sexual way you understand - but in a hero worship way. I am off to join the union now - I should have done this ages ago, but apathy has slowly been taking me over and listening to this woman has made me realise that if you really want something you have to get off your backside and do it.

So here I go.....

Jo xx

LIFE GOES ON AROUND US

Life has been rather frantic of late. As usual I have overstretched myself. I am trying to juggle a full-time job, with keeping 'The Boyfriend', happy, amused, satisfied, with getting involved with my school's PTA (Parent Teacher Association), with embarking on a self enrichment program, which involves mentoring three students, doing Tai-chi classes twice a week and attending creative solutions for first time managers courses! Needless to say I am struggling - I am suffering with indigestion, heartburn and my right eye hasn't stopped twitching for several weeks now. All in all I am not bad!

I have still managed to read quite a bit (twitchy eye and all) and have got through a William Nicholson trilogy for children called 'The Windsinger Trilogy'. The books were a nice easy read and I managed to get through them over three nights. I have now read the first book in the 'Seeker' trilogy, but since the other two books are not available in our library I will have to wait to finish this set. Other recent reads have been 'Mr Pip' by Lloyd Jones, about a village on a Pacific island off the coast of Australia, where the only white man on the island takes it upon himself to educate the children using the great, Mr Dickens' book 'Great Expectations' as a learning tool. It is a beautiful and sometimes shocking book, both poetic and brutal, but worth a read. Last night I finished 'The Book Thief' by Markus Zusak. Another beautifully poetic book, narrated by Death! It tells the story of a young german girl's life in the Second world war, her fears, her dreams, her life, her death - a wonderful book.

This Saturday the school I work at will be holding an Indoor Spring Fair and Table top sale (indoor Car boot to those in the know). This is the involvement I mentioned with the PTA, unfortunately, there are only two parents and two (and a half) teachers involved in this PTA, well I am not really a teacher but they don't seem to be too bothered about that. I think they are happy that anyone else wants to help. I think it is shocking that in a school with 2000+ students and 280 staff only four people want to help out and when it comes to getting donations of gifts and prizes from people forget it! The management ie: headteachers and deputies are yet to put their hands in their pockets and contribute so much as a bar of chocolate - hmmm, I
wonder what they spend their £60 - £100,000 salaries on??

I haven't mentioned family events for a while - we haven't had too many get togethers recently - we are all such busy people!
My Dad had his birthday in February, he was 77 - we have been so lucky to have him for three years more than we thought we would, especially after the terrible time he had a few years ago on life-support and several literally heart stopping days. He
is not a well man, but at least he is happy with his family around him, he is not in pain and is looking forward to the warmer days, when he can go out into the garden and tend his beloved tomato plants.

My Mum is going to be 70 this year and we are planning to go out 'en masse' probably to a local eaterie - not too expensive - as mum hates spending too much on going out! As long as the place we go too is not too fussy about noise and caters for children with big appetites we will all be happy.

My boys are doing well in their lives, still looking after their old (well middle-aged) mum. Both of them are working, my younger son just having started full-time work at the local Tesco as a team leader (cashier supervisor). It's all about experiencing life in its many rich and varied forms. My younger son informed me the other night, that he is certainly learning the art of patience. This is mainly due the amount of complaining customers he is having to deal with - I am so proud of him! My baby is all growed
up!!

Well checking out now (get it?) Heh heh!

Jo xx

THIS NEW BLOGGER IS A BIT PANTS!!

This new blogger is a bit pants (rubbish) – half of my banner is missing – what the hell happened to the profile thingy – it doesn’t connect you to like minded people anymore i.e. People who have the same favourite film or book??

Whassup with that??

I DON’T LIKE IT MUMMY!!

On other news I have read four books this week!! Ok, ok they are only children’s books about 200 pages each, but I thought I should be reading a variety of genre instead of my usual sci fi/fantasy stuff, which is the stuff I really love.

Three of the books I have read are short listed for something called the CIILP Carnegie Awards (some librarian thing). They are all very good and very readable and I would recommend these for 14+ age group as they deal with some delicate/intimate issues and would appeal equally to boys and girls.

My Swordhand is Singing by Marcus Sedgewick - is a type of fantasy, but also deals with a boy’s relationship with his Father.

Beast by Ally Kennan - deals with a young lad on the verge of adulthood, he has been in and out of foster care most of his life and has a hugely dysfunctional family. His Father buys him a pet at some point – the pet takes over the boy’s life. This is another good one for relationships and children’s strength of character.

A Swift Pure Cry by Siobhan Dowd – based in a small village/town in Ireland, this is a story of a young girl’s passage into adulthood. It also illustrates the small-minded mentality of people and how prejudice and gossip can ruin people’s lives. This is a beautiful tale, which again shows children’s strengths and weaknesses and shows us how mistakes can radically change lives.


The last book - Bloodtide by Melvin Burgess (not a Carnegie finalist) – is a story based on the Icelandic Volsunga Sagas and is quite a shocking read for children – but no more shocking than the computer games, which most children of a much younger age group play. Violence, War, Sex and Relationships, with believable characters and mutants, boys should definitely enjoy this – maybe not the icky sex bits – but the strategies and the way the story is told from the viewpoint of different characters. I’m a girl/woman and I really enjoyed it!!

On the home front all is calm and loving again in the household – just how I like it.

I’m looking forward to my half-term holiday next week and have some DIY planned for part of the week – well planned, but I probably will only get around to maybe one of those things, but hey ho it’s my life!!

Ta ra
Jo x

Thanks for waking me up Wil!!

Ok, ok!! I have finally been made to feel guilty – Wil Kyle from Paradise driver has been asking if something is wrong - coincidentally, my brother ‘London Cabby’ and my Sister ‘So this is Paradise’, hadn’t written anything for ages – come to think of it my other brother ‘The Reluctant Agnostic’ hasn’t written for a while either. It must be something to do with being such a close family, we all seem to shut down at the same time and go into another mode. Anyhow, no there is nothing wrong with any of us, we are just all extremely busy people, Family, Work and extra-curricular activities, take up a lot of our time.

My problem of late has been that I have started several projects and then moved on to something else, it seems like I am never finishing anything. I am pleased to report that I have definitely finished some of the unfinished stuff (?) and it really does give me a sense of satisfaction.

Firstly the re-mortgage on the house finally came through, three months after starting the process! The paperless application process has left me with a file of paperwork at least 2 inches (approx.5cms) high – huh, so this is a paperless application – I dread to think how much paperwork the paper application would generate.

Secondly and this is due to Firstly above – I have been able to consolidate (pay off) all my loans, credit card and other sundry debts, which I have acquired over the past 4 years – this has left me with one manageable payment and a huge burden of guilt lifted from my shoulders. I can now hold my head up high and say I don’t owe anyone anything – well the mortgage company doesn’t count!! Does it – heh, heh!!

Thirdly, Finally and also because of Firstly, I have been able to do some jobs around the house, which really needed doing: Unblocking drains (again), buying a small garden shed to keep the lawn mower and garden furniture in, buying a new drill, so that I can finally get around to doing all those odd jobs around the house that require a power drill and many other small repairs that everyone’s home needs doing from time to time.

On a personal note – I am quite content at the moment. Work is going well and I am finally feeling like I am the boss (not in a bad bossy way), things are progressing and the libraries are becoming quite some showpieces, we regularly get visitors from other schools and other countries, who are told how wonderful our libraries are – I must be doing something right. I am not reading too much at the moment, I have about five books on the go, some which I started reading before Christmas. I have yet to finish: My Name is Red by Orhan Pamuk, The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint by Brady Udall, Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder, Four past Midnight (Short Stories) by Stephen King, The Book of Dave by Will Self.



I did manage to finish Blood Song by Melvyn Burgess, which I thoroughly enjoyed. It is a children’s book, for older children. It is a fantasy, but it also deals with a tricky subject – sexual awakenings. It is dealt with in a sensitive, non-judgemental way and I think that adults should read it too – they might learn something from it!!

Well I am off to a meeting of The Brent Librarians – on my day off – I must love this job!!

Hopefully I won’t leave such a big gap with my postings this time and thank you Wil for caring.

Until the next time.

Jo xx