WHEN LIFE KNOCKS YOU DOWN YOU JUST HAVE TO GET UP AGAIN

My Dad aged 3

Well here I am again - more than a year since my last post and what has spurred me to post is my brother LONDON CABBY who has written a moving tribute to our Dad, who passed away last Friday. I won't say much more on the subject, I think my brother said it all, but I will say that however long a person is ill for you are still never prepared for their actual passing - the utter sadness you feel at losing a parent at any age is devastating.

My Mum who is swinging from grief to relief and back again has always been a very forward thinking person and at the age of 75 is still open to new ideas and just wants everyone to live their lives. Mum has been looking after my Dad for the past eight or so years, since he was critically ill in Spain. She has fed him, washed him, driven him to appointments, dug vegetable patches in the garden for him, been woken up two or three times during the night when his dementia started taking him over and he didn’t know if it was day or night and has generally been a voluntary prisoner in the house just so that she could keep him company. Of course the rest of us her children have tried to help out, but Mum is quite proud and stubborn and insists on doing everything herself.

My youngest brother lives at home and has been there for my Mum and tried to help out with my Dad also. Waking up in the middle of the night and listening to Mum trying to reason with Dad, who at 3am was fully dressed with his jacket and tie and waiting to be driven somewhere, only he knew where. My baby brother has taken the death of my Dad really badly, but inspite of this has managed to sort out all the paperwork for my Mum including: Death certificates, household bills, banking, insurances and other sundry items – he has told her not to worry and that he will deal with all of this for her – Mum is so relieved and I am so grateful to him.

With love to all my brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, Uncle, cousins and of course Mum xx

NEW YEAR, LIFE BEGINS AND ENDS

Hello Everyone,

I am trying really hard to work up the enthusiasm to continue or to take up again with all my creative stuff. It feels like I have been on a long winter sleep and I am finding it really difficult to wake up properly. Yesterday was the first really sunny day we have had since quite a while and when I went out in my car yesterday I felt like a mole emerging from a hole - the sun was blinding, so blinding that I had to put on my heavy duty sunglasses. It was too bright, I wanted to go back into my warm, safe, dark hole and not come out again. But I stayed out and admired the blue sky and the suddenly vivid colours and rejoiced in the wonder of nature.....no I haven't gone mad, I have just discovered how much I miss the sunshine - not the heat-just the light.

After a visit to my doctor a few months ago for a routine check-up I was told that I am very low in vitamin D and low in calcium, this is the main cause of rickets a disease which I thought was nigh on eradicated in the western world. It seems not - apparently this deficiency is on the increase especially with children. The main cause of this is the amount of time we western humans spend indoors in front of the TV, PC or games console or in my case spend in my office at work and then inside at the weekends catching up on housework. So I think my belated New Year's resolution should be to get as much sunlight as possible.

On a sadder note a member of my ex-husband's family has just died, it was his uncle. He had been ill for quite a long time since an aneurysm in the brain had struck him down at the age of 47 - he died last friday at the age of 62. His death was so sad because he had quite a large family and had been in a care home since he became ill, he had three sisters and two brothers, but only his youngest sister ever went to visit him. Her husband, two daughters and herself visited him at least once a week, brought him to their home for dinners and family celebrations, made sure he was kept informed of births, marriages and yes even deaths. And what is her reward for all those years of selflessness - the bitterness and scorn of her brothers and sisters who are so wracked with guilt that the only way they can cope with their selfishness is by attacking the very person who made their brother's last few years a little bit happier. I don't understand their behaviour and wish that they could leave their guilt behind enough to thank their little sister for all she has done for her family.

I didn't really want to finish on a down note but I just want to say Rest In Peace Connie - where ever you are I pray you have a lot of good company.

Love Jo xx